In the aftermath of the recent confirmation battle for a seat on the Supreme Court, some folks have vocalized their fears that their husbands, brothers, sons and grandsons are in real peril in the age of #MeToo. Is this concern justified? In all of the concern for our wives, sisters, daughters and granddaughters, have we overlooked the men in our lives? Stated another way: Has this concern for the safety and welfare of the women we love placed the men we love in jeopardy?
An article posted on the Yahoo homepage today caught my attention. It is titled, "Men as the real victims? After Kavanaugh, #HimToo gains attention." You can view the entire article here: https://www.yahoo.com/news/men-real-victims-kavanaugh-himtoo-gains-attention-055317573.html The article quotes an attorney who claims to have represented hundreds of young men against allegations of sexual predation. He says that "it's a very frightening time" for men and goes on to say, "I don't really believe you can be alone in a room with a young woman now in this climate." Does he have a point?
Laying aside all of the clear instances of paternalism and misogyny that litter our history, we should all be willing to acknowledge that women currently have less power (economic, political, religious, etc.) in our society than men. Moreover, at the risk of invoking the criticism of everyone who will point out all of the exceptions, most of us would still be willing to acknowledge that the male gender is generally physically stronger than the female gender. The point being: Is it fair/wise to ignore all of these clear advantages of the male gender?
Although it is difficult to gauge, experts tell us that up to ten percent of the accusations of sexual assault which women file may be false. (see https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-45565684) Now, admittedly, that statistic should make all of us concerned about giving any men who are so accused a fair hearing; but we must not lose sight of the fact that the vast majority of these accusations are valid.
I have a suggestion. If we are really concerned about the men in our lives, let's do more to teach them about the meaning of no, appropriate sexual behavior/attitudes, respect and courtesy, the inappropriateness of locker-room talk and the value of treating other people the way in which you would like/expect to be treated. If we continue to say that "boys will be boys," we are setting our men up for real failure and are placing their futures in real jeopardy. I have a hunch that men who have been inculcated with the right values will be far less likely to ever be falsely accused of sexual assault. What do you think?
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ReplyDeletePerhaps I will read the cited articles one day. For the sake of brevity I feel that feminism has gone too far in its stress on female insecurities. In reality men have their insecurities too. And therefore real women have a level of power over men. (pychological rather than physical of course, although I do like chicks skilled in martial arts) I feel little boys and young men are treated horribly nowadays
ReplyDeleteby feminist female teachers in kindergarten and later in schools for being boys. Boys will be boys because of testosteron instead of that female chemical. It doesn't mean they can't be trained to be gentleman though. That has been a tested concept and requires facing death at age 20 in battle.
nck
Sometimes when there is an evil, and society is addressing that evil, the pendulum must swing in an overcompensating fashion in order for all to get the point. The treatment of women as it has stood for many decades does not stop at singles. I was frequently shocked and angered by the things that were said to my wife in the workplace, and on the street. I wondered, considering the classes held, and the policies enumerated in large company settings, how the guys got away with the things they tried. And, I've always looked kind of rough. I wondered how the computer guys with pretty wives dealt with this sort of problem. Horny guys usually don't worry about consequences, like trips to the hospital. They often think they're smart enough to get away with their bad behavior.
ReplyDeletePerhaps what is needed is a chill. If it gets in the way of a few political aspirations, or ends up cleaning up Hollywood, is that a bad thing? I have no illusions of it controlling all predators, but those who are borderline might modify their behavior towards better directions, resulting in a better climate for all.
BB
True!
ReplyDeleteI just had a little fun googling "feminine and masculine cultures."
I still cant get m6 mind around what happened to the Vikings in the course of history.
An explanation might be that when the boys were from home having fun in Anglia or Danelaw trading slaves in Dublin the women learned leadership skills running the farm, the town, the county not taking orders anymore when those beasts returned with the brooches and goldrings and necklaces to make up for their lousy childish behavior farting and drinking mede.
Anyway, it seems possible to civilize men over the course of centuries.
Nck